Week 5 Story: Hanuman is Flexing
The current version of this story can be found on my portfolio!
At last, Hanuman and his party had discovered where Sita was taken. Well, they at least knew what the vulture had told them--Lanka. Though they had no proof themselves, this was their only lead and it was at least worth a shot. The only problem? Lanka was many, many miles across the vast ocean. That is, this would be a problem if not for Hanuman. While the rest of his monkey brethren were good warriors, they were limited by the laws of physics. Hanuman, on the other hand, had been blessed with magical powers from a very young age. The distance across the ocean to Lanka would be trivial for Hanuman; he had once jumped across all of Asia in a single leap. Without even taking a running start, Hanuman launched himself over the waters. As he soared through the air going thousands of miles an hour, he noticed the water beneath him starting to get rougher. Hanuman smiled to himself--he was going to have a little fun.
All of the sudden, a hundred water demons popped out of the water, eager for a snack. Hanuman reacted instantly by spinning around in circles at a break-neck speed. His limbs were hardly visible as they were instinctively kicking and punching at water demons all around him. After taking out around fifty, he flew up in the air to get some space. As Hanuman peered down upon the waters, a thousand more water demons rose up from the sea. Good...I'm all warmed up! Hanuman thought to himself. He flew down straight in the middle of the demons, going so fast he created a sonic boom that demolished all demons in every direction within five-hundred feet. As he sped up, he began shooting lightning bolts out of his hand at the demons that continued to rise from the water in front of him. You think they would have learned their lesson, Hanuman chuckled to himself. Abruptly, an enormous water serpent a hundred stories tall shook upwards out of the water. Reacting instantly, Hanuman flew straight into its open mouth and in 0.001 seconds had flown through the length of its body and burst out the back end of it, the whole time spinning and shooting lightning bolts to ravage the beast's insides. Hanuman arrived at Lanka about thirty seconds later, not even out of breath.
At last, Hanuman and his party had discovered where Sita was taken. Well, they at least knew what the vulture had told them--Lanka. Though they had no proof themselves, this was their only lead and it was at least worth a shot. The only problem? Lanka was many, many miles across the vast ocean. That is, this would be a problem if not for Hanuman. While the rest of his monkey brethren were good warriors, they were limited by the laws of physics. Hanuman, on the other hand, had been blessed with magical powers from a very young age. The distance across the ocean to Lanka would be trivial for Hanuman; he had once jumped across all of Asia in a single leap. Without even taking a running start, Hanuman launched himself over the waters. As he soared through the air going thousands of miles an hour, he noticed the water beneath him starting to get rougher. Hanuman smiled to himself--he was going to have a little fun.
All of the sudden, a hundred water demons popped out of the water, eager for a snack. Hanuman reacted instantly by spinning around in circles at a break-neck speed. His limbs were hardly visible as they were instinctively kicking and punching at water demons all around him. After taking out around fifty, he flew up in the air to get some space. As Hanuman peered down upon the waters, a thousand more water demons rose up from the sea. Good...I'm all warmed up! Hanuman thought to himself. He flew down straight in the middle of the demons, going so fast he created a sonic boom that demolished all demons in every direction within five-hundred feet. As he sped up, he began shooting lightning bolts out of his hand at the demons that continued to rise from the water in front of him. You think they would have learned their lesson, Hanuman chuckled to himself. Abruptly, an enormous water serpent a hundred stories tall shook upwards out of the water. Reacting instantly, Hanuman flew straight into its open mouth and in 0.001 seconds had flown through the length of its body and burst out the back end of it, the whole time spinning and shooting lightning bolts to ravage the beast's insides. Hanuman arrived at Lanka about thirty seconds later, not even out of breath.
On his mission to save Sita and restore balance to Rama's heart, Hanuman flexes as he lands in Lanka.
Source: Commons
Author's Note: The inspiration for my story comes from F. J. Gould's prose version of the Ramayana. The specific story is within section 7, and details Hanuman crossing the ocean to Lanka. He actually does meet a water serpent and defeats it using his magic. I really enjoyed reading about Hanuman's character so I knew I wanted to write about him, and going into this post I just started with the story of Hanuman's leap not exactly knowing where I wanted to go with it. By the second paragraph, I realized I wanted to go into detail about Hanuman's magical powers and I wanted to make him fight an army as he crossed the ocean to Lanka. It was fun to make this character absurdly powerful!
Bibliography: The Divine Archer by F.J. Gould
Hello Christian, I'm trying the "Let's pretend" feedback strategy and it's very different. I'm not sure how well I will get my feedback across so just want to say really quick I enjoyed reading your story and you did a really great job showing just how strong Hanuman is. And on to "Let's pretend:"
ReplyDeleteHello author, random water demon here. So ya I am very hungry and willing to at least try to eat any random stranger that happens to be flying by. But even if I am really hungry, it's not worth attacking such a powerful being over and over. I would really like my friends and I to at least try to run away from the fight. I'm sure we can find something much easier to kill and eat somewhere else. The giant serpent can try and eat him if he really wants but I want to get out of here. I would also really hope I don't get spotted while running away (by either one) and dying in some series of events that is horrible for me and possibly amusing for you and anyone else watching. Also why is that monkey so strong? Can't I, and maybe a few of my friends, have at least a little bit of magic too? We'd have a bit more of a chance of surviving that way, even if all we can do to survive is run.
Hello Christian! I'm going to try the TAG feedback method for your story. Here's the first part...
ReplyDeleteTELL: I really liked how you described this scene. I could visualize Hanuman flying across the water and fighting his enemies well. I also liked how you gave Hanuman some personality as he was fighting by letting the reader hear some of his thoughts. He almost sounded like an anime character with the catchphrases, so that was funny.
ASK: Why does Hanuman have these super overpowered abilities? If he can defy physics would that also make him capable of controlling his movements midair like that?
GIVE: Maybe instead of having this whole scene happen so quickly, it would be better for the reader to draw it out a bit more. Also, it might explain why the water demons are able to move at the same speed at Hanuman and able to attack him on his journey.
Overall, I thought you did well and enjoyed reading your story!